I found myself in the week off between Christmas and New Years in a constant state of flux.

On the one hand I really enjoyed moments with my children and husband; messing on the floor, reading books, going for adventures, watching Christmas movies (even it was for all of 20mins at a go). Our Christmas traditions are starting to emerge and I’m genuinely excited for next Christmas already, as getting the house decorated as a family, seeing the excitement mount and the comprehension growing year after year of who and what Santa actually does is lovely.

Now let me get the obvious stuff out of the way: I am so grateful for my children, so grateful for the life and love we have together. My husband and I love them irrevocably.

But on the other hand, my god, I suffered severe parental boredom at times. The monotony of the ‘pop up restaurant’, it’s daily changing menu, that was once again in situ serving, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. The slave like demands, the patients of Buddha required to manage the tantrums and ‘now’s’, the lack of silence and the ability to go without talking for more than 10mins, was exhausting. I actually missed work. When you are in work, although it might be in your attic, you do actually get a break.

COVID has isolated us as parenting communities and the ability to socially parent together, unrestricted, is what I have missed the most during the lockdown. I look at my mum who engrosses herself in playing with my kiddies and I think I used to be the same, when it was someone else’s kids , but I got to go home at the end of the day, relax and have an undisturbed sleep! Parenting is a 24hour job, sometimes without a break.

Perhaps it’s the year that has been. I’ve been grateful for some many things this year has brought and at the same time its left its mark. I found it hard to muster the enthusiasm for trains, planes and automobiles. I’d wake up full of creative projects to do and by 1pm (on a good day) I’d want to slump onto the couch for some brain dead ‘True and the rainbow kingdom’, finding myself enjoying it because at least it wasn’t picking food up off the floor or falling over a piece of Lego.  

It feel like parental boredom is another socially unacceptable thing we are not ‘allowed’ to admit, that we should all be over enmeshed parents with our children, giving them our all and making sure they grow up to be fully rounded beings. That every moment is dream like and full of bouncing unicorns and calm and loving interactions.  It’s even exhausting just to write that. I like and need my own time and when I don’t give myself parental downtime, I turn grouch. It’s also why I am so passionate about it when I coach parents.

My downfall this season, but not to be repeated, was to let the day’s just roll as opposed to planning in breaks for me and my husband. We were busy before Christmas and next thing we knew Christmas day was here and we were buried in wrapping paper.

By New Year’s Day, finally, we took control and we got into the rhythm of it to our benefit. As lockdown is upon us again, we are going to structure the days and mark in ‘time off’. Time to do what we like doing separately (Paul music and me just being alone to potter or do art), time with the kids, and time together.

Lockdown you will not get the better of me! And parents; parental boredom and ambivalence is normal and acceptable.

Want help on your parenting journey? Contact me for a free discovery call here.

Check out this Weekend Planning Worksheet I have developed to help you take control of your weekend and leave you feeling calm, in control and like you have achieved what you set out to.